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THE CORRUPTION OF TED

Quotes of the Week

3/5/2001:
All your base are belong to us!!
-Zero Wing

3/12/2001:
...But now we dance the grim fandango
And will four years before we rest.
-Grim Fandango

3/19/2001:
She was musical and apple-sweet ... Lola the bobby-soxer, devouring her immemorial fruit, singing through its juice ... and every movement she made, every shuffle and ripple, helped me to conceal and to improve the secret system of tactile correspondence between beast and beauty--between my gagged, bursting beast and the beauty of her dimpled body in its innocent cotton frock.
-Lolita, Vladimir Vladimirovich Nabokov

3/26/2001:
I suppose it is much more comfortable to be mad and not know it than to be sane and have one's doubts.
-G.B. Burgin

4/3/2001 & 4/10/2001:
Rabbits are classified in the phylum Chordata, subphylum Vertebrata, class Mammalia, order Lagomorpha, family Leporidae.
-The Columbia Encyclopedia, Sixth Edition

4/17/2001:
If it is the dirty element that gives pleasure to the act of lust, then the dirtier it is, the more pleasurable it is bound to be.
-The 120 Days of Sodom, The Marquis DeSade

4/24/2001:
Lord, what fools these mortals be.
-A Midsummer Night's Dream, William Shakespeare

5/07/2001:
Call me Ishmael.
-Moby Dick, Herman Melville

5/14/2001:
Pornography is literature designed to be read with one hand.
-Angela Lambert

5/21/2001:
Masturbation: the primary sexual activity of mankind. In the nineteenth century, it was a disease; in the twentieth, itís a cure.
-Thomas Szasz

5/28/2001:
The biggest disease today is not leprosy or tuberculosis, but rather the feeling of being unwanted.
-Mother Teresa

6/18/2001:
Duty largely consists of pretending that the trivial is critical.
-John Fowles

6/25/2001:
'Tis the only comfort of the miserable to have partners in their woes.
-Miguel de Cervantes

7/9/2001:
Almost every desire a poor man has is a punishable offence.
-Louis-ferdinand CťLine

7/16/2001:
The sad thing about artificial intelligence is that it lacks artifice and therefore intelligence.
-Jean Baudrillard

7/23/2001:
Selective ignorance, a cornerstone of child rearing. You donít put kids under surveillance: it might frighten you. Parents should sit tall in the saddle and look upon their troops with a noble and benevolent and extremely nearsighted gaze.
-Garrison Keillor

7/30/2001:
Pursuit and seduction are the essence of sexuality. Itís part of the sizzle.
-Camille Paglia

8/06/2001:
Every man sees in his relatives, and especially in his cousins, a series of grotesque caricatures of himself.
-H. L. Mencken

08/13/2001:
What do I know of manís destiny? I could tell you more about radishes.
-Samuel Beckett

08/27/2001:
A schoolteacher or professor cannot educate individuals, he educates only species.
-G. C. Lichtenberg

09/03/2001:
You learn to put your emotional luggage where it will do some good, instead of using it to shit on other people, or blow up aeroplanes.
-Margaret Drabble

01/07/2003:
Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.
-Samuel Clemens, AKA Mark Twain

01/13/2003:
The thing with high-tech is that you always end up using scissors.
-David Hockney

05/18/2003:
I'm not unwell. I'm fucking dying.
-Jeffrey Bernard

07/14/2003:
If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.
-Dan Quayle, likely apocryphal

07/21/2003:
When man wanted to make a machine that would walk he created the wheel, which does not resemble a leg.
-Guillame Apollinaire

07/28/2003:
It always hurts when you lose a secret.
-Elie Wiesel

08/04/2003:
Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all.
-John F. Kennedy

08/11/2003:
God alone can finish.
-John Ruskin

08/18/2003:
Once begun,
A task is easy; half the work is done.
-Horace

09/15/2003:
Stay firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
-Fran Lebowitz


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